celticeagle

Cross roads. We all have them. When we must make a major decision in our lives.  We may have cried jars and jars of tears and have come to the realization that we have to make a grave decision and go forward with whatever the outcome is. It isn’t easy. It can be some of the most heart rinching decisions we ever have to make. It means family members or friends may not be happy with the outcome but it has to be. Sometimes we have to go forward for ourselves and leave others behind. Or even kick them to the curb. We have to be number one and do what is best for our health. To feel a peace come over us that helps us center ourselves again. With time we can move forward and feel whole again. Time is no longer the enemy but a dear friend. Sunsets become pretty again instead of just something that marks another day. The change comes slowly. We have to have quiet and be given time to think and evaluate. To work through the horrors and fears that erode any semblance of normalcy in our lives. But then by degrees we are able to calm ourselves and come out of the shell that goes up to protect us.  

It marks us. It makes it harder to let things in. Harder to find happiness and feel easy in a situation again. Makes us wary. It causes scars and pain. It hurts us clear down to the core. Black and white becomes gray and we don’t care. Body aches, heart is sick. Life is only what we make it becomes a joke. We have to find strength to crawl out and away. Find the experience to see it coming and jump to rid ourselves of the bad feeling. We have to become human again and soften the outer stone that makes the way so hard.

Then make the decision and move toward the crossroads. We stand there tall and strong with our decision all brand new. We have to erase the ugliness and the negativity and move toward the golden light.

Life is good. Some of us are just more sensitive and we have to strengthen ourselves. We have to decide on our new pathway and then stick to it. Life is a number of such crossroads. Will dilegence we find the decision that makes the most sense. Wrong or right in other people’s eyes it has to what is right for us.

In the beginning there is just the flourishing Earth, the beautiful heavens, the purple majesties. You are totally impressed with its massive size and never ending wonder. It has so much potential and is all new. You are in awe of it all. It’s just too much to behold. But, something could be better, and perhaps better still.  And change is suddenly all around and is constant. Tools, slave labor, technology.

And what is change? That one big thrill. Making it all so much better or putting it further under the microscope to be scrutinized and torn down to a compromising level. Put it up there in lights. Perfect there under the glass. Oh, but there is just that one thing. It just isn’t quite right. And change is inevidible and sure.

It gets so old after a while. Taking in all the changes. Moving fast and furious into what? Bankruptcy. Banks falling. People stepping on people to get ahead and make that one big change. And so many people. Take it all in, move it all around. It’s change. Make that one big change. It can’t hurt anything.

Keep it up. They have to keep up. It is like an opiate. Don’t fall into repetitiveness. And forbid you should just stay put and enjoy the laurels. Enjoy it just for what it is. No. The harsh reality of that chaotic PUSH, PUSH, PUSH. Gotta have it and gotta do and be the highest, the fastest and the most elite. Have it all, have it now and at whatever expense. Doesn’t  really matter. It’s change.

That is what it is. Change. The best. We moved into a new milenia. What did we do with it? A recession. Taking it hard. But, oh the change will do us good. Everything has to be changed. It can’t stay if it works. It has to shine more, work faster, be better, be different. It has to change.

Take it all in. But hurry. It won’t stay long. Don’t even breath. Don’t depend on it either. Why? Because it is going to change. Someone is going to buy it up and it won’t look or be the same. It will be the all unending change.

And what of the Earth and the heavens? Use it up, suck it dry. They don’t care. What do they think of it all? It’s just a joke. A bad joke. Doesn’t quite work anymore. Change it!

Hey, world! It is a new year!! How exciting! I had several lime j-ello shots on New Years. Very interesting. Had never had them before. The neighbors were quiet although someone was out playing in the snow for awhile. Not sure what that was all about. The boy friend called so I didn’t think he had invited a prostitute over. Hmm. And all seems to be right with the world.

I have four more months until Me-Day on the 5th of May. Taking a plane to Florida to meet my destiny. How will I act? It will be so different. Four months though. I have alot to do.  Full body make over. Am going to the gym and getting muscles in shape. Have to be ready for a new and different way of life.

Am going to my favorite beautician to have my grey tresses revamped into a darker version of strawberry blonde. Also am getting a perm for something to do with unmanageable hair. It is like straw and I have never really been able to get it to look any way but flat. So a perm really helps. And, I like curls! I think they are romantic and can be very sexxy. Long hair is the way to go too. Long hair is, or can be, very attractive. What women are thinking when it comes to short hair is beyond me. Oh, believe me I understand the easier to take care of aspect. Maybe even alittle of the little girl look too. But, long hair is so much prettier. And men like it ALOT better.

What a year we have ahead of us in 2009! We all have a fresh new start. Enjoy! Think Smart! Be good to others! Take a chance and be all you can be! It can all be what you make of it. Go forward and be productive. You only pass through this life once and you just need to make the very best of it you can. Treat your friends as you would like to be treated. Be a friend! Delve into what makes you who you are. Be better. Back away from things that have been negative and caused you problems or pain in 2008. You have a new start. Make it amount to something. You only go through once. Make goals and keep moving.

Well, I have been a naughty girl. I went off the wagon. I have had mexican, chinese, chocolate, a Dr. Pepper. Oh, it was good! Before that I had checked the scales and saw I had lost about 3.5 pounds. That was about 40 pounds lost since March 2008. I am not going to say how much I weight. I would be mortified. I want to get down to 160. I have a ways to go. I think I thought I was doing so well I could go crazy. I won’t even look at the scales for awhile.

Oprah is doing her appreciation of the body today. Motivation to reach our goals. She found she had thyroid problems. After how long. Now I have had tests and not thyroid problems. No, it is emotional like Oprah. Love issues? Ugh! Pathetic, huh? I think some people don’t eat when they are upset and some do. I am one that eats. I have gone through the eating and not even realizing how much I have eaten. That can get scarey.

Going to a place inside of me that taps into moments of joy and self awareness is amazing. It takes work and I can’t always do it but I can try! Put forth an effort every day. I am worth it! I diserve to be happy and real my goals.

It is a daily thing and you have to take it a day at a time. But, it is important and it needs to be addressed. Exceptance and joy. It can be a real feeling of defeat.

What do I really want? Why have I failed until now? To feel like a woman and be able to wear pretty clothes and feel sexy. To feel like a more youthful me. To live to a ripe old age and still be vital and clear. These things are very important. I get lazy and I put it off until tomorrow. Well, it has to be addressed every day.  I have to do these things for me. I want that inner joy of being all I can be. To feel alive and good about my self.

I am going for six days aweek. Three days at the gym and three on my mountain bike and weights at home.  I have to do these things for me.

It all comes down to what you need and want for yourself and your life. It has to be a serious comittment. I fell off the wagon. I am climbing back up and getting after it. No excuses.

How are we feeling about the new year? Positive or negative? I am thinking that it will be interesting to see what happens. How will the new president do once he is in office? I read this very question on most forums I visit.  What will happen in our homes/lives in the new year? Change? Improvements? Will there be more storms coming? Are we ,as a nation ,better prepared to handle them? Will more troups start coming home from Iraq? Are there alot of what if’s? Are we feeling solid or like the floor is about to come out from under us?

I think that we will be just fine. I think that our fearless leader, with the help of all the new folks he has put in their positions, will do just fine. Atleast to begin with. They always do. He will have his fixes and his band-aids just like all the rest have.

And how about the invisible guy upstairs? I agree with George Carlin! 

It is so bizarre to me. This invisible man that can see every thing we do. He has ten rules that we must live by and if we go against just one we will go to this hot burning place way down below where we will burn, and hurt, and know such pain and have such unbelieveable torture FOREVER. But, he loves us!

I just loved Gerge Carlin and his way of of looking at things. Like the hippy dippy weather man, and where things go when you lose them. He was great! I miss him.

 How can intelligent human beings believe that this invisible man is all knowing and all seeing yet lets all the crap go on. How can that be? Karma? Or is it like chess to him?!

Organized religion- or is it organized business. Put in your time in church, go home and do whatever you please! And that church always needs money. This invisible guy is all knowledgeable and all powerful- he just can’t handle money.

And the temples and beautiful churches built. What of them? For this man that travelled by foot everywhere he went. No taxi, oxen, etc. This humble man. It would be like Klim Kadiddlehopper walking in the Sacks Fifth Avenue. Just seems so strange to me. And I feel closer to this invisible man in the mountain or forest than I ever have in one of those fancy churches.

2008-12-30

Yes, two more days until 2009. This started me thinking that I have certain things I want to accomplish before I die. There are things I hope I can complete and enjoy before I pump that last bit of blood through my body. (I hope to just pass in my sleep.) I am going to add a list of these here.

I would like to donate some time to geriatrics. I think old people are cool. I would like to get to know some old people and write the stories of their lives.  

Would like to have enough money to be able to donate to domestic pets, wildlife and cancer research. 

Work in endangered species in some way.

I want to parachute from a plane. With someone with me ofcourse. I don’t think I would have the nerve to do it without.

I want to write a book or group of books, enjoy some fame from it. I hope it will be popular and well liked and enjoyed.

The books that I want to write are about the endangered species or have them as mystical characters in them. Illistrated.

I would like to travel and see Ireland, Scotland, England, Wales,Isle of Mann, Greece, Rome, Paris, Peru, Australia, Egypt, and China. And I would like to visit British Columbia Canada and other parts as well.

There are many places in the US that I would like to see. The Smokey Mountains, Virginia Beach, New Orleans, Arizonas Petrofried Forest, Mackinac Island, Michigan, Montana, Red Woods, San Fransisco, North Dakota Indian Resorvation, and Kentucky, Tennessee, and New England. Salem would be cool.

Have a companion and enjoy a relationship for last part of my life. Something romantic and fulfilling. I would like to think that it will be the best love of my life.

Know a period of time that I would live as if rich. (Not have to worry about money)

Meet Some stars and personalities I have enjoyed in the movies and on television. Such as: Betty White, Whoopie Goldberg, Robin Williams,Ellen Degenerous, John Travolta, and probably some others.

Take some time in a sweat lodge, do some metaphysical therapy and hands on research in the paranormal.

Do some research into my Cherokee heritedge. Get to know some people of that nation.

Hike into a choice wilderness and live in the wild for atleast a week. Not alone though. Perhaps with my companion.

Know the owl(messenger), wolf, buffalo, eagle, and peregrine falcon.

Not die of cancer. ( Mother and father both did)

Well, today I read a article on whether marijuana should be legalized or not. I found it interesting. The link to it is:

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/30/on-the-legalization-or-not-of-marijuana/

It reads alittle different that the regular stuff on the subject. I do think the laws would be about the same. I think that if people didn’t know about the two (alcohol and marijuana) they wouldn’t miss it. They probably would have found something else. Mesculine perhaps.

Well, maybe not. The hillibillies that manufactured hooch in the Appalachian Mountains for so many years and the gangsters that transported bathtub gin would probably have developed the same product. Ya think? I am pretty sure of it.

So, do we really need marijuana? Do we really need alcohol? No! But for those who handle it on a day-to-day basis it could be missed I suppose. Everyone needs their own way to relax. Their own way to deal with stress and the turmoil of everyday interactions.  But heres the rub: What would life be like with out marijuana or alcohol? Better or worse? Better livers and kidneys and all. Less people doing time for vehicular manslaughter and for selling the funny weed. But then what would Jimmy Stafford  have written about instead of “The Wildwood Weed”? And that horrid song that Merle Haggard wrote:  Oakie from Muskogee? Never could stand it. What would be the focus and subject matter then? These are the two that really stand out in my mind although there are many.

Here is a link with all kinds of tunes written about weed: http://www.druglibrary.org/MedicalMj/marijuana_songs.htm

What would all these people have written about? War? What? It has become such a part of our culture. Common jokes. Look at the popularity of Cheech and Chong? Didn’t they live through about twenty years stoned? I think so.

15 million people use it regularly. Is it ever going to be legalized? I seriously doubt it. Too many people that want to make money and it would all change if it was legalized. The drug runners would be out of a job. It wouldn’t be such a big story anymore. Pharmacuetical companies would have a field day. Aren’t they doing enough already? Yes, it is difficult to think of it ever being legalized. And when  people try to speak out about it aren’t they all pretty stoned? Does that make for a very good defense? Makes them look silly.

Save the roach for me.

I went to see An Inconvenient Truth when it came out. I believed what Al Gore had to say. Who wouldn’t? It is obvious and well graphed and proved. Skeptics got on board and made a media side show out of it. Said that this wasn’t true. How assinine! There are even people that are trying to say that there was no Halacoust too. But, we know that isn’t true. More carbon dioxide and the temp gets warmer. That’s easy. What in the world is the world going to do?

A moral issue? YES. Indeed it is. Congress wasn’t impressed. If you can’t get them in your corner what are you going to do?

You must believe that what we take for granted, what I took for granted when I was a child, won’t be here for my grandchildren to enjoy. What a reality!

Animals are becoming extinct as you read this. The Alps are melting away. The snows of Kilamanjaro is a thing of the past. Scientists say that it is moisture rising from below. This is possibly caused by deforestation.

In the year 2005 Katrina devestated New Orleans. They are still picking up the pieces. And there were warnings that hurricanes are going to get worse.

“This could be the greatest hoax every perpetrated on our constenuants.” Okay so just we’ll just take care of it tomorrow. Wake up people!

How are we going to react when leading scientists give us their warnings? As we watch our toys washing down the street that has become a river will we look back then and wish we had listened?

Thank you Al Gore for bringing this information to the American people. As he says we otta care alot. But do we? Will we?

It is really unfair to live this wonderful life we have lead and enjoy the weather and the areas of the world and now leave this devestation and melting off to our grandchildren. What a grand legacy to leave them!

Did we learn anything this year? Did we learn that being nice and positive pays off in many selfless ways? Did we learn what love really is all about? Did we learn that Christmas is all about ourselves and what WE can get, but rather, what we can give to our fellow man and what a present that is for self? Did we learn that  material goods isn’t near as important as time spent with the family and those we love?

What is more important? How many toys we get or what we give? What happened to the joy of giving? We begrudgingly buy things for people we may spend the rest of the year saying nothing but bad things about. And, probably not even see again until the following year. Why?

Is this time of year something to look forward to? Do you enjoy the season and all it has to offer? The good, warm feeling. The positive air that abounds this time of year. Why can’t we have some of this good feeling all year long? Why does it seem that the faces fall and life goes back to the norm we have made soon after the new year celebrations.

Yes, people are only human. Yes, we all have our experiences that we work off of. And, yes, we all have our responsibilities and reasons for hurrying along our way. But, what if we all took a little added care in the way we delt with fellow humans. What if we took an extra moment out of our day to be cival to the postman, the neighbor, the UPS guy, etc. I am sure that some of do. To those people I take my hat off to and aplaude you. But, what of the others that just don’t take the time and feel no reason to be nice or corgal. What of them? Scrooges that go home to cold and dark houses at night? Or do they come home to families and treat them the same way?

I firmly believe that if we try to be more positive in our little corner of the world that we all can be happier people. Teach our children well in the way of loving your neighbor and being true friends. Take an extra minute with the people that help us everyday. The mailman, the UPS carrier, the waitress and who knows how many others. Take a minute and feel the warmth and goodness that can come from this. Happy New Year!!!!

Just afew more days and we will be in 2009. I guess it is a red flag that I am getting older when I think the past year has hurried by. I am not really setting any New Year’s resolutions this time. Just setting goals and trying to stay on track. I have pounds to lose and things to research. I still am trying to get over that KM Ultra research I did. It is sort of like a death and the grieving process. You never really get over something like that. Man’s inhumanity to man is not something we should ignore or forget. It is something we need to speak out about and discuss at length. It needs to remain in the recesses of our minds and be dealt with as we can. Knowledge is power. The more we know and the more we are aware of the better off we are. The less paranoia and cynicism we can feel. It is like knowing who the enemy is and looking them square in the face.

I feel satisfied that I go forward into the new year with a new level of knowledge. Perhaps not the best of knowledge but something that will grate at the back of any other enterprises I embark on and perhaps I will pull this out again and look at it and research deeper. Who knows what else I will find. Who knows what other surprising and interesting things I can find on this cyber space highway. I never cease to feel the anormity of the opportunities that are out there and at our fingertips. It intrigues me and pushes me forward.

I want to thank all my fellow members and friends I have made on this site and so many others. Thank them for linking me to new sites and different and interesting subjects and projects to research and explore. Thank them for the ever important clicks and views that keep me reaching my goals and hurling me every forward into new mysteries and dark avenues of the worlds underbelly. I am always interested in the darker side and what makes people do what they do behind closed doors. And, what makes people strive to be good and bettering themselves as well.

I hope that who ever reads this checks back from time to time to see what I have come across and what I am writing about in months to come.